Stuff white people like

Okay, I have a lot to apologize for here. I'm going to link to a site, and for that I have the following caveats/apologies.

1) I don't write my own stuff any more. sorry.

2) By linking to this site, I'm opening myself up to ridiculous self parody. ie.. I'm basically exactly the kind of guy this site's talking about, and here I am showing how hip and trendy and ironically self aware I am by linking to it, and laughing about how apt it all is. Sorry.

3) The site verges on the mean spirited. sorry.

4) This may all be very passé, and if you've already known about it for ages, sorry.

BUT I still think this is an unusually funny site, so too bad if I am falling into all the traps of my own demographic. If everyone else can do it, then why shouldn't I?

So basically this guy writes about stuff white people like. By white, he really means rich, urban, educated liberal minded types. And coming from that background I find a lot of it is unusually topical. For example, explaining St. Patrick's Day:

"Most of the time, white people consider celebrations of European heritage to be racist unless they omit large swathes of the 16th through 20th centuries. But since the Irish never engaged in colonialism and were actually oppressed it is considered acceptable and encouraged to celebrate their ancestry. For this reason, 100% of white people are proud to claim that they are somewhat Irish.

It is also worth noting that on this day, there is always one trump card that never fails to gain respect and acclaim. When you are sitting at an Irish bar and someone orders a round of Guinness, you must take a single sip and while the other white people are savoring their drink, you say: “mmmm, I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true. Guinness just tastes better in Ireland.”

This comment will elicit an immediate and powerful response of people agreeing with your valuable insight. This statement also has the additional benefit of humiliating the members of your party who have not been to Ireland (and thus cannot confirm this proclamation). Having not traveled to Ireland and consumed a beer that is widely available in their hometown and throughout the world, they will immediately be perceived as provincial, uncultured, and inferior to you.

It is also strongly encouraged that you memorize the lyrics to “Jump Around.” It will come in handy."

AND on the topic of dinner parties:

Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.

It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.

At the most basic level, these simple gatherings involve 3-6 couples getting together at a single house or apartment, having dinner and talking for 5-6 hours. Though it might seem basic these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.

Risk

This guy confronts risk exactly the way it should be. I really wish we had more people like Dan Gardner. (click for interview) He just published a book and I'm interested to read it. Here's part of an interview. I like the last line in the interview, which basically boils down to: 347 Americans are killed every year by police officers, while 379 people IN THE WORLD are killed by international terrorists. Imagine how much trouble you could get in on a right wing call in show if you brought that up? (Note that this doesn't include domestic terrorists, but it still throws a new light on the world doesn't it.)

4. What do you think is the most unreasonable fear rife in the Western world?

One is certainly “stranger danger.” Parents everywhere imagine perverts lurking in bushes, waiting to snatch away their children. But abduction by strangers is almost indescribably rare. In the United States, a child is 26 times more likely to die in a car crash. And yet, because of this irrational fear, parents won’t let their children play outdoors or even walk to school – which contributes to the rising rates of childhood obesity that really do threaten the well-being of children.

Terrorism is also grossly exaggerated. I know this is controversial and so I go to great lengths to substantiate my views in the book. Over the last 40 years, fewer than 15,000 people have been killed in international terrorist attacks. That figure includes the Sept. 11 attacks, incidentally. And so, on average, international terrorism takes the lives of 379 a year around the world. Let me put that risk in perspective: In 2003, in the United States alone, 497 people accidentally suffocated in bed; 396 were unintentionally electrocuted; 515 drowned in swimming pools; 347 were killed by police officers. And 16,503 Americans were murdered by garden-variety criminals.

I'm embroiled in a lunchtime talk next week. Here's the write up. I'm sure it will be a thrill ride for all who partake. Continuing to be very productive in every respect. I have begun the process of writing the thesis, much to the collective astonishment of my committee.

broken mirror

J1 will visit me shortly. J1 always visits me sooner or later. In fact, we seem to mirror each other quite nicely, about 3 or 4 years, and 200 km off. Halifax was followed by Sackville , and Daegu by Busan. So we can expect J1 to move to Kamloops in 2010 or thereabouts. Anwyay, J1 will be here soon, and I'll pull out all the stops in the hospitality train. Hopefully Busan hasn't gentrified too much in my absence. I think Busan was the first place I visited that really qualified as culturally shocking for me. That was the place that different families quarelled as they taught us the correct method to eat galbi, and we were quite overwhelmed by its quantity and the overall experience of grilling at the table. That and the fish market blew me away, when we visited only days after I arrived in Korea. No doubt J will have something similar in store, even if I pass on my collected wisdom. Read about it here in her new blog. Good luck J1!!!

Otherwise, the office has subsided from panic in the days following Big R's departure for medical leave. A new routine has settled in. I have made significant progress on my thesis, though prospects for its completion are still poor, faint, and distant. I predict that I will fail to conduct an adequate defence before the April 10th deadline. However, as I am being retained by the institute until July, the idea is not dire. Particularly since I am quite enjoying reading about Danish and Nordic political cutlure, anti-elitism, and monetary policy, strange as some may find it. I have also applied for a variety of positions at reputable institutions around the world. Unfortunately our very own DFAIT, has turned up its nose at me, due to my low test scores on the math test. Mathematics continue to be the bane of my existence, years after I thought I'd left it behind in grade 12. But I'm not good at anything with firm rules. That's true of everything in life. The only things in life that I'm actually good at are situations where you can BS, waffle, stall, prevericate, charm, canoodle, bend the rules, change the goals, lie, mislead, fly under the radar, and talk your way through without taking a stand until the last minute and then surprising everyone. Games with hard and fast rules and decisions, without opt-outs, I'm not naturally good at. And that is why I'm not good at math, chess, or first person shooters.

I retract nothing.

I flew back west yesterday, after once again winning the winter travel sweepstakes. Remember how I flew in during the blizzard of the year? Well, I flew out in a relatively rare pea soup fog (the pic here is from before it really thickened), which forced the cancellation of every single flight out of Ottawa, except for my flight and two others! My original flight was delayed, but that meant that I got to spend an extra few hours in Ottawa, and switch to the direct flight. A good deal by my reckoning.

The airport was completely deserted, but still managed to be in an uproar because the computer system had crashed, and they were checking us in manually. Because I had been switched flights, I also got the back seat in the plane, right by the bathroom. But I was happy with that, because I got my row to myself, extra leg room, a window, and easy access to said bathroom. I got a bit of company when we hit a patch of really rough turbulence, and the service personnel had to shelter in empty seats. That was good because they filled me in on all the airline gossip about the delays and so on. Undoubtedly the most annoying part of the flight was the yappy dog that had somhow been allowed aboard. It yapped for about the first hour, and then through the tubulence. If I'd been sitting next to it, I don't think I'd have been happy. We also experienced a medical emergency when they paged a doctor to come and care for the sick. In the end I arrived all of an hour late. So, I don't go back on what I said before leaving: winter travel is much more dynamic!

Spin-Off

I'm creating a spin-off blog. Since my main focus lately is on photos, I've created a "photoblog" at aminus3. I'll keep updating this one from time to time, but I'll set up the photo blog to publish every day, with a mix of new and old photos. Check it out!

Hogtown

I've left Toronto. Toronto is a city in the fine tradition of cities with crazy contradictions. It seems so dynamic, and yet stultifyingly conformist and up-tight at the same time. Some areas have a real street presence, rare in Canada, with music, and food, and art and lots and lots of people from every corner of the Earth, all doing different things. But then there's the whole suburban mass, the signs warning of grave consequences for playing hockey in the street, the Eaton Centre, and the boring financial centre. Well, it could be a lot worse. lucky since half the people I know seem to move there at some point. I think I could actually enjoy Toronto quite a bit, especially if I got to know it.